The Dodgers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

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I watched some Dodgers games last week and they didn’t get any runs and the starting pitching gave up a whole ton of runs and there were players playing I didn’t know much about and some players I really like are hurt and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

I watched them get swept by Arizona and Kenta Maeda and Rich Hill and Hyun-Jin Ryu gave up 19 runs and they got way behind and couldn’t ever catch up.

I thought this was the best team in baseball.

I said, “This is ridiculous.” I said it was hurting my feelings that the Dodgers weren’t winning. Arizona was getting cocky on the field and the Dodgers weren’t fighting back.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

I could tell because Dodgers Twitter said they weren’t good anymore, and that Arizona was the best team, and Milwaukee was the next best team and the Dodgers were maybe only the third best team.

“I hope you sit on a tack,” I told Twitter. I hope you remember this the next time the Dodgers play like the best team in baseball.

There were all the wins by the Diamondbacks and guess who’s team didn’t get any wins?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

That’s what it was, because then after the Arizona series the Dodgers went to San Diego and the Dodgers got Kershaw back, and a win, but that’s it.

All of these new players were playing, and the bad players were still playing and through all of it I tried to be optimistic, but Dodgers Twitter yelled at me because how could I be in a crisis like this?

“It’s just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week,” I said! It’ll get better! No one believed me.

So then the Dodgers tried to mount some comebacks. They got some runners on base, but couldn’t get them home. They got to the Padres’ closer Brad Hand, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I forgot. Cody Bellinger hit his 36th home run of the season, but it wasn’t enough.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

I had to listen to third string announcers and even though I thought they were perfectly fine, Twitter kept telling me they weren’t.

Even though in San Diego they were basically playing split squad and some of the starting pitchers that did badly won’t be starting in the playoffs it didn’t matter because a loss is a loss no matter how skewed.

I had to see gloating fans of other teams in my timeline, and I HATE gloating fans of other teams.

They lost on my birthday, my Twitter friends are cranky, and watching games isn’t fun right now.

They were put on the cover of Sports Illustrated and immediately started doing badly and I had to read all the bad takes about that.

I had to read a lot of bad takes, period.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

History says some days are like that. Even to the best team in baseball.

(FOLLOW ANDY ON TWITTER: @DODGERSANDYINPA)

 

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